It was her first Christmas without him. She told herself she could handle it. Everyone expected her to. Day after day, she adjusted to her new routine. After all, she had spent years preparing for this, and when the end came, it had been a relief for him. She understood that. But still, this was her first Christmas without him.

The children and grandchildren would come, and the house would be full of laughter. But her grown children, his children, would feel it too. They would gather around her and carry on. He had made it very clear that it was his wish.

The empty space beside her no longer kept her awake at night. The silence of the house no longer surprised her when she arrived home and wanted to share her stories. There was only the echo of her thoughts now.

The holiday preparations were progressing smoothly; she had baked and wondered, while peeling the apples, why she didn’t simply buy them ready-made at the store. But that had never been their way, so it wouldn't be her way either. Respect shows itself in many ways.

She’d waited until mid-December to set up the decorations and bring out the tree. The grandchildren enjoyed its splendour. Years ago, they had agreed on an artificial tree; after much negotiation, he had surrendered. But if it was to be fake, he chose the best they could find, tall and full.

The ornaments were a collection of souvenirs from years of shared life. The old ones, bought to mark many stages of life: a child's birth, or another year of marriage. There was so much that brought a smile to her eyes. Much more to be thankful for when everything was weighed in the balance.

The strings of lights had gotten tangled as they always did. At the sight, she remembered his cursing, quietly balanced by his sheer determination to get the better of them. She would not give up either. She stretched the strands across the living room and checked each light. She wrapped them around the tree. It all looked as magnificent as ever.

The loose end went easily into the outlet…Nothing…Not a glow…not a flicker. She flicked the switch on and off, still nothing. She sat on the floor in front of the tree, and tears came to her eyes. Quite despite her best intentions, they flowed gently. She let them.

After a while, she found her resolve and got back to it. She saw the tree topper, the angel of light and put it up. She stepped back. It was almost perfect, except for the lights. Then, in the box that contained the angel, she noticed a small card with his writing. She took it and read: With all my love. I will always be your guardian angel. Peter.

Tears welled up again, warm and filled with hope and promises, as the tree lights all flickered on, brighter than ever before!